I know it sounds alien but you see she is ALL I have in this big bad world…and though i’m 18,unconciously i’m still that toddler who needs to be reassured that her mother is right there beside her.She is ALL i’v had since I was five…
No Ido not have a father, noI don’t remember uttering the words papa or dad~its a pleasure i’v been denied for no apparent fault of mine.My mother has not only been my mother but also my father.The protector,the sole earner,the man of the house,the homemaker,the teacher,the emotional supporter,the cheerleader…ALL these and MANY more roles she has carried out with aplomb.Hence I say “MY MUMMY STRONGEST!”:-)
So when I hear things like,”Oh you’re a single parent child na…”,”you know what its a good thing you dont have a dad…”,”these single parent kids na..they’re always a little…” or worse of all,someone with both their parents around says,”even im a single parent kid,sympathise with me also!”. I do not know what they mean by such statements, they may mean nothing at all but thats pointless as its all been said and done. And it wrenches my heart which bleeds for the father I never had, for all the notes I wrote to a non existant papa, for all the pain mumma endured, for the baby who had no shoulder to sit on, for the emotional upheaval mum went through, for all the torture I put her through…as a foolhardy teenager in my bid to be strong,independent and bold like her.
And now…every movie we watch together,every picture we take together, every conversation of ours and ALL the advice that she passes on to me-I hold close to my heart and cherish.My only regret being why did’nt this realisation hit me earlier?!?
But like my mother always tells me~’whatever happens happens for the good.You may not understand that now but you will some day.So for now untill then just accept it’:)
So after putting in a LOT of ‘serious’ thought,the lazy person that I am,I had’nt yet gotten down to any ‘serious’ work until this moment BUT thank god for spontaneity:-D And thank god for my teacher who even at the end moment does not forget to remind me,”zeishah,you need to enjoy this fun excercise and not look at it like a daunting task”.Also like my wise friend quipped,”your work is to go with the flow and write for the love of it and not care whether people like it or not because while some will like some will not.Hell! some may not even understand it BUT thats not your problem”
So not caring for the ‘TRPS’ or followers:-P here goes my brave attempt at blogging…